Trailers/Nine

Trailers in recent visits to the cinema have lately been something of a let down to me. They used to be the best part of my cinema going experience, all the best bits of the given movie all rolled into one minute of goodness. That's why you can never judge a movie by its trailer because the one minuet that your watching can look like the film is the best action thriller romcom of all time, when in reality its just Sly making his comeback again.

The trailers are also important because they basically tell you what the exact target audience is for the move your about to watch. This leads me on to the film musical Nine which i went to go see last night. Pretty much every trailer was a chick flick, including a film titled Dear John which had no discernible plot whatsoever other than a buff man who takes his shirt off a lot.

I don't like musicals, so the film was at a disadvantage from the off, but sadly this was the best the cinema has on offer at this moment in time. The problem I had with this particular movie musical was that the film didn't really have any narrative, a plot rizla paper thin at best, and actors that couldn't make their mind up whether to put on an accent or not, leading to the " generic foreigner from somewhere voice". Also most musicals have songs that actually drive the narrative of the show, but as this film didn't have a story there was nothing much to sing about. The film suffered from having too many star names and felt indebted to pander to them all, leading to basically the whole movie centering and catering around giving each female star a song of their own. That was whole point of the movie - cram lots of Hollywood names into a movie, give them each a song, 1 romantic setting and hey presto we have a movie.

In fairness despite these shortcomings the film was entertaining and watchable, mostly due to the quality of the actors used. Daniel Day Lewis was stylish but couldn't pull off an Italian accent to save his life. However him in 2nd gear is much better than %95 of the crap out there. Dame Judy Dench was underused but great, Sophia Loren was perfectly cast as the leads dead mother and Marrion Cotillard was mesmerising as the wife. So, all in all the film could have done with cutting a few scenes and stars and centering a bit more on actual relationships, but a passable stage to screen musical adaptation.

Jersey Shore

This is a must. Whilst some believe perhaps rightly so that I'm a culture snob, when it comes down to the purest droplets of entertainment, the right trash at the right time is the only way to go. And so to MTV's latest reality tv show Jersey Shore. Basically an update of The Real World, except set in Jersey with a bunch of self proclaimed Guidos and Guidettes, already classic lines such as 'my abs are so serious they call me "the situation"' and ' basically, what are you going to say to a guy that when he takes his shirt of he looks like frikin Rambo?' have entered into Tv folklore (at least in my universe). Not sure when its due to arrive on British screens, but if you liked Rock of Love (with Brett Michael's, another trash must) then this is the show for you. Get ready to grease your hair and turn your body Orange, because Italian Americans are here.Pizzane.If not fo get a boud it.

Went to go see the comedian David O'Doherty at the soho theatre the other day. Thought it was a pretty solid performance. Just thought id give you losers a flavour of what you missed out on (unless you went to the show or any previous shows he may have performed at).

Subo is disgusting

I think the whole susan boyle thing is a disgrace and an absolute blot on the cultural landscape. The whole thing smacks of an affirmative action for ugly people. Basically my issue is, that the only reason why people like her is because she defies expectation, and she defies expectation because she's damn ugly. Since when do you have to be attractive to have a good voice. Somebody forgot to tell Pavarotti that he was too fat to sing. When i put this fact to a fan of the show, he told me that this was not the reason, and that it was because "she was a virgin as well". Taxi to go from the ridiculous to the patently absurd please!

I'm happy for her, and at least now she's got a much better chance of getting boned by somebody, but all i can think about now, is that if she screams at the point of orgasm, it gives new meaning to the phrase ' it ain't over till the fat lady sings'.

The sacred made Real

Went with a Mr.Archer to go see the Sacred Made Real at the National Gallery on Monday. Quite phenomenal. I first came into contact with Spanish Polychrome sculpture in University, while researching some paper I was doing. I vividly remember the book I was reading preferenced these sculptures, saying that whilst we only really highlight the painting from the Spanish Golden Age, in their own time it was these wooden sculptures that were the artistic highlight of any church or Cathedral. Having never seen any of these works in the flesh, it was with some delight that I saw that the National was putting on a show of these works, although a little sad that these hidden gems were surely to become perhaps bastardised by public popularity.


The show is by no means a blockbuster, and not that large in its scope or selection, but every piece was a revelation to me. The argument of the show is to connect these sculptures with the admired painting of the time, and that the new realism depicted in these sculptures transferred itself into these paintings. Whilst this argument I'm sure holds water I feel the curation does these sculptures a slight disservice. I was far more interested and inspired by the sculptures than by the paintings, and whilst the paintings themselves are amazing, the sculptures more than hold their own and didn't need the paintings there to 'validate' them.

The atmosphere of Spanish Catholic repression is evident in the gloomy and graphic nature of the works, to the extent that you feel that the artist is trying to make the viewing as uncomfortable as possible. My personal highlights were the severed head of St John the Baptist by Juan de Mesa and an unknown painter and the Dead Christ by Gregorio Fernandez and an unknown painter both from around 1625.

The show is gory and complatitive, skillful and mesmerising, a bit like a visiting a gallery and the London Dungeons simultaneously, highly entertaining, its all I could wish for from a show.All in all its a must.