Not the most original - and I'm pretty sure that I'm not adding anything here, but I thought I'd wade into the whole Jewish Mother syndrome conversation. I came across (via my delightful and gorgeous fiancée Maya) the following website about some yenta who leaves the most hilarious Jewish Mother messages to her daughter. The web site only has a small selection, but if you look around there are more available. Here it is.
My own more specific addition is a tale from Israel last year. Its high time this particular beauty was identified. Me and Maya (yes, me and Maya, not Maya and I. If you have an issue with my use of the English language then too bad or huglin (delete as you see fit)) were in an Israeli version of a corner shop looking for Mike and Ike's sour Candies - no I'm not a yank, thats their proper noun- when in walks in a middle aged woman, dumpy looking, microphone hair and a son with a look on his face that said 'why god, why me, why this life, why this mother?'
She approached us and enquired in her whiny New York pitch 'excuse me - how far a walk is it bak to the Daniel Hotel?' to which i replied 'I dont know - 10/15 minuet walk?'
She snapped around, looking semi accusingly at her teenage son
'I told you Noah - it's too far to walk back'
So we offer her a ride in our car as it cannot be more than a 2 minuet car journey, with my brother Sam at the wheel, me next to him, and the happy family of Maya, Miriam and her increasingly despondent son Noah ( he knows whats coming).
We ask where is she from -
' Do you know LA? I'm from a place called Beverlywood - its very very faaanceee.'
Cue Noah groaning audibly.
The conversation continued, littered with the now common family catchphrase of 'its so faaaanceee', including the now classic:
'I went to England once - I went to a Synagogue where they all wore top hats - it was very faaanceee'
and with each passing minuet her son realizing that was not some horrible dream but in fact he was stuck in this life for the rest of it, with the same mother for most probably a good portion of it.
We made our goodbye's and immediately placed the episode into the collection of all time favorite encounters. We spent the rest of the holiday trying to locate this particular pristine example of the Greater Tsores Jewish Mother (lives in the USA, UK and to a lesser extent Western Europe - Migrates to Israel annually for Pesach).
We thought we glimpsed her over a breakfast - but before we could confirm the sighting, she'd gone. We know she's out there somewhere, so if you do happen to be in Beverlywood LA, and a Jewfrowed Yenta, with a pale son in tow named Noah should approach you for directions/estimated journey time - hold her there, give me a call and I'll take it from there.
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